Have you ever heard a saying that goes something like, when you quit trying to control your outcomes, the universe will give you what you need?  As a skeptic and someone who for years tried to control what was coming next, this wasn’t an easy concept to wrap my head around. Here’s my story of how I was challenged to face my own skepticism, and the direction of where I thought I was going.

I teach psychology at a Mt. Lebanon High School, and I’ve been interested in the topics of meaning and purpose, about how our brain works, what can we do to impact our brain function, mindfulness, positive psychology and emotional intelligence for a number of years. Late in the summer of 2014 I heard about a conference called Wisdom 2.0.  I was drawn to attend. Many of the speakers were experts and researchers I admired and the topics aligned with my personal interest and so the moments began.

Eckhart Tolle, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Arianna Huffington, Sharon Salzberg, Shafali Tsabary, Congressman Tim Ryan, Michael Gervais, Joan Halifax, br. David Steindl-Rast, Dan Siegel, heads of companies like Google, Facebook, Zappos, and so many more; each talk – informative, each interaction, each connection – I savored them all. Being in the presence of great mindfulness teachers inspired me to go home and be more conscious about my life and more diligent in my practice. Dr. Shafali made me want to be a better parent, Dr. Dan Siegel taught me about the adolescent mind, Michael Gervais prompted me to share this information with our athletic department and coaches, Congressman Ryan compelled me to want to be an even more active citizen in fostering a Mindful Nation. Brother David Steindl-Rast, what a gentle soul; as he so wisely said “We may not be able to be grateful for everything, but we can be grateful in every moment.” Arianna Huffington shared the story of how she collapsed and hit her head and how that moment was her entry point to her journey. She read the quote you see here from Iain Thomas, and that was the first of two entry points for me. I was always so busy, doing so much, but what was I really avoiding? This discovery, this is what’s important. My shift began at Wisdom 2.0 in February of 2014.

Over the next two years I delved into learning, practicing and trying to connect with others who shared my interests. This semester I’ve been on sabbatical studying Social Emotional Learning, Positive Psychology and Mindfulness and I returned back to Wisdom 2.0. This time I had the opportunity to visit with Facebook’s Compassion Team, with a group of Wisdom attendees. I was exposed to more speakers/researchers and making new connections. Since I was on sabbatical, I had more time and was able to also attend UCSD’s Bridging the Hearts and Minds of Youth Conference.

This leads me to my second entry point. The great mental coach to athletes and mindfulness teacher George Mumford, spoke at Wisdom & the Bridging Conference and I had the opportunity to attend an intimate workshop led by George on coaching and performance. In that workshop he spoke to me about right effort, right goals. It was in that workshop at that moment, I questioned what I had been doing. I sat there quietly listening and quite honestly with a few tears rolling down my cheek. I was trying (with the wrong effort) to control the outcomes. I needed to let go, to surrender trying to control what would come next, to put forth the right effort for the right goals. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me. (Read Mumford’s Mindful Athlete to learn about his personal journey and to learn from is heartfelt wisdom.) I’m fairly certain I can count on the likelihood that I will continue to have moments that wake me up, and that’s a good thing, I’m never done learning.

So this brings me back to my inner skeptic. It’s a process, a daily effort to let go. I’m living, still learning, doing my thing, practicing paying attention and being awake in my own life. I don’t want to miss it!  It’s hard, even for me, to admit that when I began to let go… events and opportunities that I never could have imagined presented themselves.

I have no idea where things are going to go, but what I can tell you is this …                         I’m Savoring the Dash.