Be Inspired by this Veteran, Warrior, Yoga Teacher, Resilient Man, Mr. Dan Nevins.

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Photo credit: Robert Sturman  

As the Fourth of July approaches, people all over our country prepare to celebrate with picnics, parades, and fireworks. Like many people, I get nostalgic around holidays, reflecting on the past, grateful for the present, and hopeful for the future. This weekend I have been thinking about Dan Nevins who I heard speak at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference.

Retired Army Sgt. Dan Nevins is an Iraq war veteran who lost both of his legs below the knee, due to an Improvised Explosive Device (IED).  Dan also had a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) as a result of the explosion. In his talk at Wisdom 2.0, Dan spoke of his service, his love of country, his team in the Army, and his long road to recovery. He gave a great deal of credit for his physical and mental rehabilitation to the Wounded Warrior Project (WWP).  He told us the WWP was there for him throughout his recovery and that they helped him to realize his disability didn’t define him. He said “they taught me how I got define the rest of my life.”

Dan was honest and frank about his journey. The road was full of bumps and curves, but he had flourished and was very active with the WWP. Then another surgery was needed. Following this surgery, he couldn’t do all of the active things that he had become accustomed to and it was a dark time for him.

It’s estimated that over 400,000 veterans suffer from PTSD.

Over 300,000 have traumatic brain injuries.

Dan reached out to a friend who recommended he go to a yoga class with her. He laughed, thinking it wasn’t for him; he didn’t fit the prototype. However, she was able to convince him to try meditation. After experiencing positive benefits from meditation, his friend asked him again to try yoga.  This time he agreed. After only a few classes, Dan connected and healed through his yoga practice.

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Photo credit: Robert Sturman

Not only did he enjoy his yoga practice, but he went on to become a yoga teacher. With so many of our vets suffering in ways we can’t always see, Dan Nevins’ gives us the simple advice to…

Invite a veteran to yoga, you just might save their life.

You can watch Dan’s full talk here: Dan Nevins – Wisdom 2.0, 2016.

The picnics, parades, and fireworks will soon be over.  We will all go back to our daily/weekly routines, but maybe you’ll take Dan Nevins’ advice and invite a veteran to yoga, or meditation, or mindfulness, or MBSR, or whatever your contemplative practice may be.

“It’s not about what we have, or what we lack. It’s about finding a way to create what we want in our lives, despite not having what we may think we need.”  -Dan Nevins

Learn more about Dan Dan Nevins

 

A series of moments shifted my life and in a way I never imagined was possible.

Have you ever heard a saying that goes something like, when you quit trying to control your outcomes, the universe will give you what you need?  As a skeptic and someone who for years tried to control what was coming next, this wasn’t an easy concept to wrap my head around. Here’s my story of how I was challenged to face my own skepticism, and the direction of where I thought I was going.

I teach psychology at a Mt. Lebanon High School, and I’ve been interested in the topics of meaning and purpose, about how our brain works, what can we do to impact our brain function, Wisdom-2.0mindfulness, positive psychology and emotional intelligence for a number of years. Late in the summer of 2014 I heard about a conference called Wisdom 2.0.  I was drawn to attend. Many of the speakers were experts and researchers I admired and the topics aligned with my personal interest and so the moments began.

Eckhart Tolle, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Arianna Huffington, Sharon Salzberg, Shafali Tsabary, Congressman Tim Ryan, Michael Gervais, Joan Halifax, br. David Steindl-Rast, Dan Siegel, heads of companies like Google, Facebook, Zappos, and so many more; each talk – informative, each interaction, each connection – I savored them all. Being in the presence of great mindfulness teachers inspired me to go home and be more conscious about my life and more diligent in my practice. Dr. Shafali made me want to be a better parent, Dr. Dan Siegel taught me about the adolescent mind, Michael Gervais prompted me to share this information with our athletic department and coaches, Congressman Ryan compelled me to want to be an even more active citizen in fostering a Mindful Nation. Brother David Steindl-Rast, what a gentle soul; as he so wisely said “We may not be able to be grateful for everything, but we can be grateful in every momentiaian-thomas-quotes.” Arianna Huffington shared the story of how she collapsed and hit her head and how that moment was her entry point to her journey. She read the quote you see here from Iain Thomas, and that was the first of two entry points for me. I was always so busy, doing so much, but what was I really avoiding? This discovery, this is what’s important. My shift began at Wisdom 2.0 in February of 2014.

Over the next two years I delved into learning, practicing and trying to connect with others who shared my interests. This semester I’ve been on sabbatical studying Social Emotional Learning, Positive Psychology and Mindfulness and I returned back to Wisdom 2.0. This time I had the opportunity to visit with Facebook’s Compassion Team, with a group of Wisdom attendees. I was exposed to more speakers/researchers and making new connections. Since I was on sabbatical, I had more time and was able to also attend UCSD’s Bridging the Hearts and Minds of Youth Conference.

This leads me to my second entry point. The great mental coach to athletes and mindfulness teacher George Mumford, spoke at Wisdom & the Bridging Conference and I had the opportunity to attend an intimate workshop led by George on coaching and performance. In that workshop he spoke to me about right effort, right goals. It was in that workshop at that moment, I questioned what I had been doing. I sat there quietly listening and quite honestly with a few tears rolling down my cheek. I was trying (with the wrong effort) to control the outcomes. I needed to let go, to surrender trying to control what would come next, to put forth the right effort for the right goals. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me. (Read Mumford’s Mindful Athlete to learn about his personal journey and to learn from is heartfelt wisdom.) I’m fairly certain I can count on the likelihood that I will continue to have moments that wake me up, and that’s a good thing, I’m never done learning.

So this brings me back to my inner skeptic. It’s a process, a daily effort to let go. I’m living, still learning, doing my thing, practicing paying attention and being awake in my own life. I don’t want to miss it!  It’s hard, even for me, to admit that when I began to let go… events and opportunities that I never could have imagined presented themselves.

I have no idea where things are going to go, but what I can tell you is this …                         I’m Savoring the Dash.

Be inspired by her life to find your own path.

Cheryl Rice is an motivational speaker, professional coach and acclaimed author of the beautiful memoir Where Have I Been All My Life? When I picked up Rice’s cheryl-rice-bookbook, I couldn’t put it down.  Rice allows us an inside view into her journey of self discovery. It reads like a friend sitting across the table; comfortable, easy to read, triggering a range of emotions. It contains lessons about connection to others, relationships, love and loss. She writes with elegance, wit and pure honesty.  By sharing her own experiences and imperfections, her story encourages the reader to embrace their own voices and become empowered in their own lives. We see her strength in her vulnerability of sharing her life story and growing into the woman she is.

I can tell you this, Rice inspires me, she is the coach’s coach, living authentically and she possesses incredible wisdom. When Rice speaks I listen, when she writes, I read. To learn more about her work, visit her website Your Voice Your Vision.

The teacher seeks a teacher.

For the past few years, as my interest and practice of mindfulness have increased, I’ve sought out the guidance of a single teacher. 2016-03-01-1456799824-2781712-mindfulnes

I recall talking with Dr. David Creswell (CMU) and he suggested I read Mindfulness in Plain English.  Nearly two years since that conversation, and my seeking of a teacher, the pieces of the puzzle are beginning to come together for me.

Last summer I attended the Summer Institute for Educators at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. One of the many speakers we heard from was Meena Srinvasan, author of  Teach, Breathe, Learn.  I was enthralled by her talk and the work she is doing, she shared that she studied under Thich Nhat Hanh. After the talk I spoke to her briefly and expressed my awe of her being a student of Thayś.  She smiled at me and said ¨you can be too.¨ At first I took that in literal terms, Meena had studied in India and other countries, I thought, I can´t afford to do that. Now, in reflection, I know what she meant.

At the same Institute, one of the co-conference leaders, Dr. Brooke D. Lavelle told us about a Care program for teachers she was working on/researching and with good fortune, my school was able to participate in the program this past year. Brooke, along with Dr. John Makransky have founded Courage of Care. I highly recommend their program. Click on the previous link to see their online courses, workshops and retreat options. At the onset of the program, Brooke asked us, ¨what would it be like if when you came to work it felt more like coming home?¨ That was a powerful question for me, I internalized it, what if my school, my district, my community could be more compassionate? How could I help to make that happen? (More to come on that later.) Check out Brookeś recent TedX talk The Presence of Care.

 

A few months ago I had the great opportunity to attend a workshop with George Mumford, author of The Mindful Athlete: Secrets to Pure Performance. First off, the book is a great read whether you´re an athlete or interested in elevating your performance in any field. George gives an honest, touching account of his own path with inspirational lessons along the way. In the workshop we did a number of practices and then had discussions. In that workshop, with a few simple questions and statements, I felt like someone saw me, really saw me, it was so powerful, hard to put into words. Mumford is a very special teacher.

These micro-moments, as Dr. Barbara Fredrickson would call them, have helped me
come to the realization that my mindfulness teachers are all around me. Dr. Creswell, Dr. Lavelle, Dr. Fredrickson, Dr. Turksma, Dr. McGonigal, Dr. Shefali, Chade Meng Tan, Thich Naht Hanh, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Sharon Salzberg, the dear-loving George Mumford and many more. And finally, when I breathe and I´m still, in the quiet, I´m reminded of one final teacher, the one that lies within – me.

Learning from the masters – how to play & live in the present moment.

IMG_3912_grande_mediumWisdom 2.0 was a catalyst for change in my life in 2014, this past February I returned and two of my favorite teachers/speakers from two years ago, Jon Kabat-Zinn and Michael Gervais were back in 2016, and in this talk Pete Carroll joined them on stage. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn is a master mindfulness teacher and created the MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in the late ’70s. Pete Carroll, coach of the Seattle Seahawks brought sports psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais in to work with the team in 2012. In this talk Gervais teaches us there are no BIG moments, that every moment is as valuable as every other moment. This was echoed by Carroll, when Kabat-Zinn asked Carroll about the moment immediately following their Superbowl loss. Carroll eloquently described the moments/events after the previous year’s win, followed by the loss. Carroll said the moment began when he stood up, he knew that it was in that moment that the opportunity to move forward and grow began, that if he and his team were willing to learn from the truth that just occurred, this was the learning, the wisdom. He also described something that my dad has taught me my entire life “work on what you can control and let go of what you can’t control.” 

Kabat-Zinn, Gervais & Carroll continue to discuss grit, mastery and the difference between response and reaction in this fantastic talk. Here’s a link to the talk in its entirety Mastering the Mental Game.

“Elevate those in your organization, and your organization will be elevated.” Words of Wisdom from Michael Gervais. You can learn more about Gervais on his website, and click on Finding Mastery podcasts to learn from elite performers in a variety of fields, they are fantastic!

 

Gratitude – teachings from Brother David Steindl-Rast

Last week marked the 10th anniversary of Brother David Steindl-Rast’s short audio meditation –  “A GoodBDVD Day.” It had a powerful impact on me then, and still does today. He’s taught me a great deal about gratitude. Two specific teachings I carry with me; the first one is that we may not be able to be grateful for everything, but we can be grateful in every moment. I think of myself as a realistic optimist. I have a generally optimistic attitude, but I understand the reality of the world we live in, the good and the bad, and the full range of emotions we feel. I relate the “being grateful in every moment” to resilience and perspective. No matter what happens there are still things to be grateful for, I just need to call on those thoughts. The second one is his famous quote “In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” If you’d like to read a little more about research on gratitude and happiness, check out this NYT article from last fall “Choose to Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier.”

Re-Fueling my Soul at Pacific Beach

I’ve loved the ocean for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories go back to early childhood & walking the beach in Wildwood Crest, NJ collecting sea shells with my mom. She loves the sea too, that’s probably where I got it from.

During a lunch break at a mindfulness conference I took a quiet walk along the sea shore. Rolled my pants up (still soaked them) & enjoyed the beauty in front of me. I was so moved, that’s why I captured it in video after the moment passed through me. The ocean gives me perspective, it reminds me how small I am in a vast world. The ocean seems to go on forever – beyond the horizon.

The ocean reminds me of how precious life is, my time here is so short, like a drop of water in the ocean. But the ocean also rejuvenates me, re-fuels my soul. I feel awe, my spirit renewed. Although my time on earth is limited, I’m determined to make the time I have count.

~Savoring the Dash ~

My Day at Facebook HQ: #Compassion @Facebook, it’s not a paradox.

I was excited for my day at Facebook to say the least. I am attending Wisdom 2.0, a conference I went to 2 years ago & literally changed my path. Conference attendees could apply to attend this special Wisdom week event to learn and discuss Compassion Initiatives at Facebook. I feel incredible gratitude for the opportunity to participate in this event. I approached FB headquarters in my Lyft ride, the driver dropped me off at Building #15, the visitor entrance, where we proceeded to go through security and mingle and meet in large open space. Shortly thereafter, a FB employee escorted us to one of the many MiniKitchen’s on the campus where we were told to help ourselves to snacks & drinks. They had so many choices! (It’s everything you think it is & more.)

We settled back into the meeting room where we networked with other Wisdom attendees from a variety of businesses and places. The Facebook Compassion team then shared their work with us, informing us about products already available, and others they were working on. Did you know they had a Compassion team? Click on the link above to learn more. They have a team who uses Design thinking, accesses the most current research and experts to increase compassion in life’s difficult moments as they are shared on FB. They research, design, test,  and re-design before a product is ever launched. There is genuine sense of caring to both protect and serve their users. For example, if any of you have gone through a break up, you may have noticed the options that are given to you when you change your relationship status. Users could leave things as they are or make changes they are most comfortable with. Did you ever think about what happens to a person’s FB page after they pass away? Facebook now has a Legacy feature, if a loved one dies, if someone contacts Facebook to let them know, the page then becomes “Remembering” and then the users name. In addition, now we have the option to go into our security settings and identify Legacy contacts. For example, I could name someone my Legacy contact, so that when I die, that designated Legacy contact can pin information to my page. Or you have the option of having your account deactivated once you pass. I realize these may not be pleasant conversations, but I think it’s reassuring to know that Facebook recognizes not all of life’s moments are good and there are people working hard to support their FB community of users. These are just two of many initiatives they are working on. We had lunch, discussed compassion topics and teams and then we toured their campus.

Facebook has two campuses across the street from each other, connected through an underpass. I got to see the existing one and the very newly opened Building #20 designed by Frank Gehry. Check out this outstanding aerial pic of the 9 acre rooftop park on top of the building.facebook_mpk20

Obviously I didn’t take that one myself, found it online. But here are a few of my snap shots of the park.

I feel such gratitude for the opportunity to visit their headquarters, listen, learn and discuss Compassion, a topic important to me both personally and professionally. How can you make your life, your home, your workplace more compassionate?

Living, Loving & Learning

I read this poem years ago and it made me reflect on my life, my past, my future, but most importantly how I’m living today, now. The dash represents the time between the day we’re born and the day we’ll die. It reminded me of saying my Nanu (grandfather) said, loosely translated from his Italian dialect, was the idea that we begin to die from the day we are born. Some may interrupt that as morbid, but in our family, the lesson was simple but powerful, the time we have here is limited and we should appreciate it. Every day I work at Savoring the DashThe Dash Poem by Linda Ellis